My Grief Is Like the Ocean: A Story for Children Who Lost a Parent to Suicide

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In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Wave after wave of grief have crashed over me. So far I haven’t drowned. They still come, and I am still learning to swim. Margaret, your description of your grief resonates with me do much. I’ve been trying to describe it for many years, and you have just done that. Thank you for sharing your emotions. Dying is nothing to fear. It can be the most wonderful experience of your life. It all depends on how you’ve lived.” ~ Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Waves of grief can make you feel like you’ve failed at healing, and they can threaten your emotional and psychological wellbeing if allowed. Those who have sufficient experience in dealing with grief understand that waves of emotion come and go, and that they’re not permanent. How to Deal With a Wave of Grief Adriel Booker, an author, advocate, and provider of miscarriage and loss resources in Sydney, Australia, so eloquently writes of her experience: What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” ~ Helen Keller While this might not be the best time to reevaluate your faith, it is undoubtedly an excellent time to reconnect with your higher power. You can expect to need the added support from your spiritual leaders or congregation as you move through your grief journey. Having something to believe in provides you with the necessary stronghold to survive your emotions. How to Help a Loved One Deal With a Wave of Grief Do any of these metaphors resonate with you? If not, share yourmetaphor in the comments section below.

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Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope. I could only be grateful when I realized that I would rather have known you for a moment than never at all. I would rather endure this inexplicable pain of outliving you than to have never seen your face, spoken your name. I would rather be yours, you be mine, regardless. Regardless of the sorrow, the sleepless nights, and the years I will walk this earth, carrying you in my heart.” Lexi Berhndt, Scribbles and Crumbs Hey all, I recently joined this sub and try to comment on as many of the posts as I can that I feel I can help out a bit. I am dealing with my own grief as well, but I wanted to share some information I found some years ago, posted on reddit before I even knew what reddit was. It is really great advice, and I hope everyone gets a chance to read it.

The reality of loss doesn’t immediately sink in. The consequences of loss can take years to manifest, sending a new wave of emotion when least expected. Waves of grief usually happen around the time of significant events that you missed out on, like your loved one’s graduation from college, wedding day, or retirement. Your emotions are unpredictableOn March 8th, 1984, I sustained a traumatic brain injury in a car accident while I was driving to my day job.